Now that I’ve woken up should I get on twitter or text her?
I’ll send out a cryptic tweet to let her know she’s still on my mind but not enough.
It’s my lunch break, should I text Julie or her? Ah, she won’t care plus I’m on break.
Home, shower, what’s the move? Laying in bed and watching tv or go ask her if she wants to hangout. Bed.
I’ll post a snap of Netflix on my laptop.
Oh man, it’s late. She’s already texted me today. I better not open it.
I’ll just watch her snapchat story instead.
I’ll go to bed without wishing her goodnight. I bet she’s already sleep too.
She tweeted some Taylor Swift song. Man is she trying to say something? Nah.
Well it’s 2 pm, might as well tex- oh shoot it’s from her.
She said hi. I said hey. She said let’s hangout? I said not today.
“Why not aren’t you off?” Yeah, but I’ve got stuff to do. Lie.
“Oh okay, it just feels like you haven’t been paying me attention.” I have baby. Lie.
Honestly if this was the truth I highly doubt he would be thinking about her. This is what I think of along the possibilities of why a person who claims to love you ignores you out of the blue. There was a time when I thought that this was love. That sending me occasional texts every now and then with a few words, only wanting to hangout when it’s late, and make me feel special when convenient was something great. It’s not. He doesn’t put me on a pedestal.
He puts me on the options of his day. He does not care how mine went even when he asks. How do I know? He never wants to talk about it. He never wants to go out in town. He can go all day without talking to me. Although I agree talking all the time is too much. But it’s not when a person can go a whole day without talking to you and they say that they love you?
When I imagine love, I imagine my parents, and the greatest couples in the world. Communication. I let him take control. Who was I to tell him this wasn’t the way I was to be treated? I know it was hurting me. I know that this wasn’t right, but I wanted to not be an option. I wanted to be someone that he didn’t think twice about even texting a simple Hey. Things like that can get you twisted and caught up. Is this what I deserve? NO.
You need to learn and understand what you deserve. You are a strong independent woman. When I think about strong independent woman, automatically to my mind comes my mom, Beyonce, Miley, and Katy Perry. Why instantly these four woman? One, my mom rocks. Beyonce has always had a front about being a strong woman. I’ve always grown up listening to Miley Cyrus and I remember her telling in an interview that she likes to be the girl that no one can get meaning she doesn’t give her attention away like that, and Katy Perry is a powerhouse for woman I believe. Just my thoughts.
You are incredible. There comes a time when you see just how amazing you are. Little things like ice coffee over hot even in the winter and going on and on about a song you heard and touched your heart is something that someone is going to value and love about you. Don’t let him shut out your best parts. The parts of you. He doesn’t get to do that. It may feel like he closed those doors but you have the key. Unlock and open yourself back into this world that loves you. Don’t let him tear down the life you’ve built.
You deserve to be loved. You deserve the love you give to be given back. You do not deserve any ounce of bad love. You love and you love good.
You accept the love you think you deserve. – The Perks Of Being A Wallflower.
I always always always look at that quote and reflect. I don’t deserve this love but why do I let it in? It has to do with how you view yourself. Get out now. Learn to love yourself again. Learn your quirks. Learn what makes you wildly beautiful and own it. Have faith. If you aren’t fully connected with him meaning the relationship is flat and going no where then what do you have? Physical attraction? That will lead you in places you’re not meant to go and ways you aren’t meant to hurt. Please always remember, You are not an option.
You are a priority. There are people in my life now I make sure I talk to at least once a week. People who I’m closer with even more recent. I have best friends who live in Florida, New York, and Hawaii that I at least send a text to once a day. If I can maintain that relationship that gives what he does no excuse. I love to get excited and I love sharing that with someone. You want to hear about a promotion in his job. You want to hear how his birthday went. You want to see him on a Thursday night. You see so much in him. There’s nothing more sad then it not being given back. It’s like that little light and excitement he makes you feel he puts out.
Delete his number, delete the message history, unfollow him, block him, do what you have to do.
It’s up to you now. You can do it. You have the power.
I believe in you. I believe you are meant to do great things.
Now what are you going to do? Tell me in the comments your next step of action, what you thought, and what you’d like me write about soon!
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Remember, You are not an option.